Today is the first time I’ve felt more scared of the person I’m attacking with a knife then they were of me.

Of course I’m clearly not out mugging people - I don’t do that in November it’s too chilly - I’m actually talking about the martial arts lessons I’ve been taking.

Now I’m absolutely petrified of the tutor - particularly when he arms you with a plastic knife and is all like "attack me". There’s this sort of knowing glint in his eye that I always subscribe to the fact that I’m pretty sure that he can snap me in half like stale Twiglet.

For now, rubber knife or no rubber knife, I’m happier not coming anywhere near his big burly arms’ reach.

And even without him mine inability to move my legs in the proper motion has left me with a rather painful foot.

But still I feel rather fitter (if slightly more bruised) for the experience.

Anyone wanting more information on the club click here .